Moving Home: Don’t Forget The Kids!
Moving home is stressful for everybody – we probably don’t need to tell you that – but quite often, the adults in the family are focussed on their own stresses. There is the expense for starters, as well as the packing and phone calls to all and sundry with address changes. The kids are often overlooked, yet they have their own worries and anxieties about the impending move. They have less power in the decisions being made, yet it is their lives that are being upended as well.
So, what we are saying is this. Don’t forget the kids! Not in a Home Alone type of way where you accidentally leave your children at home after you have waved goodbye to the Chess Moving removal firm and set off for your new home yourself. No, we are asking you to remember your children’s emotional needs, ensuring they have some peace of mind before they are removed from their home forever.
Stresses that your children go through
Your children’s stresses won’t be the same as yours. Money matters are unlikely to come into the equation, but there are other concerns. For example…
– Saying goodbye to friends. No matter how old your child is (unless they are under school age), they will have a friendship group to call their own. Saying goodbye is hard for anybody, but despite the advantages of social media and the telephone, there is nothing like meeting up with your mates inside and outside of school for a laugh and some fun together.
– The memories of home. Your children may be moving away from the only home they have ever known. With so many happy memories, saying goodbye becomes even harder. Saying goodbye to people is difficult enough, but saying farewell to a place that has become reassuringly familiar is heart wrenching.
– Fears for the future. You probably have a clear goal in mind within your house move. Perhaps you are moving to be nearer to work, or have ideas about renovating your new property. For your children, the future will become less uncertain. Where are they moving to? Will they make new friends? What will their school be like? So many questions and no clear answers; not at the beginning at least. Suddenly, all that is familiar and safe in the world is thrown into uncertainty and life as they have known it will never be the same again.
You will be familiar with some of those stresses yourself, but you need to remember your children don’t have the coping strategies you probably possess.
Making the move easier on your kids
As you seek to support your children with the move, there are a few things you can do to make life easier for them.
Talk to them – Obvious we know, but the earlier you talk to your children about the move, the better. It will give them time to adjust, and you will have more time to allay their fears in the process. It’s good to talk to them about every aspect, and include them in the decision making process. What kind of a house would they like to move to? What could they do with a new room? What amenities would they like nearby? Look for a house together, and while you will have to make the ultimate decision, your children will feel happier knowing you have asked their opinion.
Throw a party – Before it comes time to move, your children need ample time to say goodbye to the people they are close too. You will need the same, so what better excuse do you need to throw a party? Getting all your friends in the same place to say goodbye is perfect, giving you all time to laugh, cry, and support each other. Of course, you probably can’t afford to invite everybody, so you and your children should bring along those who mean the most to you.
Visit the new neighborhood – This is one way to get your children excited about the move. Giving them something concrete to hold onto in their minds is important, letting them see the place they will be moving to. You might want to conduct a short tour, stopping off at all the sights your children will be interested in, from leisure centres to shopping malls. The move will become real, and your children will have time to think about all the new possibilities available in their new neighborhood.
Create a memory book – Your children will never forget their old home, but it’s still good to create a memory book to help them with the grieving process. This can include pictures of the house you were living in, photos of family and friends, written memories of events that took place, and contact details for all the people they became close too. Initially, looking back in the book will be hard, and they will feel sad about leaving – as will you – but over time, the book should be something they look back on with fondness and grateful hearts.
Visit the new school – Perhaps the scariest thing of all for your children. Going to school can be hard enough for some kids, but having to attend a new one, and knowing nobody can be a daunting experience. Visiting the new school teacher is a must, and they may be able to give your children a tour of the school. While this will allay some fears, you might also ask the teacher to let your child have a day in the classroom with the other kids. Knowing there are familiar (and friendly) faces awaiting their return to the school, will make the transition so much easier for your child.
Finally
There will be laughs, and there will be tears. Saying goodbye is hard, and your lives will change. Still, as you are moving as a family, you can love and support each other in the process. After a while, the new home will become as comforting as your old one, and hopefully, none of you look back with too many regrets.
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