Fatty Boom Batty

While many may look at my amazing svelte body with jealous, impure thoughts and desires to replicate it’s fantastic curves, you may be surprised to find out that not only am I a little bit overweight, I am actually morbidly obese.

Damn you BMI

With my BMI sitting in the “hey lardarse, lay off the Dorito’s” category (even accounting for my NZ Maori heritage), I often surprise people when they find out that my 183cms are carrying around 122kgs of awesomeness. Now, that is a lot of awesomeness and let’s be honest, too much awesomeness for one person to lug around in this world……it’s time to change.

Enter Stage left – The Man of Steel program

Working with a group of equally inclined and equally over proportioned gentleman via a Facebook group and webinar series with a head trainer offering fantastic direction, crazy new learnings and a positively sadistic training plan has seen me change my food intake for the better, lace up my Brooks and don my under armour skin tight top.

Week 1 – Day 1


I wake up this morning to the realisation that I have no idea what I am doing. It’s all well and good for me to eat healthy food and exercise etc, but I’m stumped with what to shove in my gob for brekky. I don’t have a nutrition plan yet as I don’t think I have logged enough food data and have not had my food conversation with my trainer. Mid panic attack, I realise that I have sample meal plans to work from.

10 minutes later and I am tucking into 4 eggs, 100g onion and 100g chicken – sooo much food


I’ll be honest here. I lost my shit. I thought I was making a fantastic decision to go to Woolworths to purchase some items that would fit my macronutrient requirements and while there……I lost the plot. I called my wife asking her advice before cracking it in general stating “I’ve got no idea, this is bloody difficult, what do I have to do”. Tarn (being the calm “used to Phillip’s antics” person that she is) managed to shut me up long enough to suggest rare beef wraps (beef wrapped around salad and tomatoes – yum). That with some Turkey and almonds for afternoon tea saw my Woolworths journey sorted.

Burpees…..we meet again

The family that Burpees together stays together? I’m sure that’s how it goes.

Rowing machine warmup, Superset Weights then a finisher….

For the uninitiated, a finisher is just that……it finishes you at the end of a work out. You don’t finish it… It finishes you.

20 seconds on, 10 seconds off

Burpees, Burpees, Mountain Climbers, Mountain Climbers, Half Burpees, Half

Burpees, Burpees, Burpees…….Twice

I’m finished. I can barely type this entry.

The weird thing though…I’m looking forward to tomorrows food and tomorrows workout.

To be continued…


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