4 Questions To Help You Decide Whether To Have Another Child
When you’ve just had your first child and you’re dealing with all of the sleepless nights and trying to learn how to be a parent, the idea of a second child seems crazy. But then a few years down the line, when the memory of how difficult it all was isn’t quite so fresh, you might decide to have another one. Doing it all again the second time might be a little easier but there are always going to be new challenges that you didn’t face the first time around, and you’ll still be learning how to parent as your first child grows up. When they get a little older and they’re more self-sufficient, things are a lot easier. Now is the time for you to start relaxing so surely, you wouldn’t think about having another child? But a lot of people do. It’s becoming more common for people to have another child later in life, sometimes even after the rest of their kids have left home. Maybe it’s just because they love being parents and they don’t know what to do with themselves when they haven’t got anybody to look after but themselves. If you think that you might want to have another child in later life, you need to understand that it’s a big decision and one that shouldn’t be taken lightly. It’s probably going to be a lot harder than it was last time and you may end up spending a large portion of your retirement looking after your new child. Before you decide whether to become a parent again, make sure you consider these things.
Can You Still Have Kids?
This is the first question to ask yourself because it might be out of your hands. A lot of people, after they’ve had a couple of children, decide that they don’t want anymore and get a vasectomy. If you’ve had one, that doesn’t mean kids are off the table because you can always get a vasectomy reversal, but you’ve got to consider whether you’re willing to undergo the procedure to have more children or not. Even if you haven’t had a vasectomy, you might not be able to have children. The first thing to do is go to the doctor and have a fertility test done. You might find that the chances of you having more children are very slim anyway. If that’s the case, maybe it isn’t meant to be. You can always look into other routes like adoption or IVF but that can get incredibly expensive.
Do You Have The Time?
Often, the period after the kids have left home is when parents spend more time focusing on their career and saving up for retirement. It’s the sensible thing to do if you want to be in a good financial position when you finish work. But if you have more kids, it’s going to be difficult to do both and you might upset your work-life balance. If you’re still working a lot, you won’t have much time to spend with the family, but if you cut back on work then you’ll struggle to save any money for retirement. Before you decide to do anything, you need to consider whether you’ve actually got the time to raise another child or not. If you’re already in a stable financial position then you might be alright but if not, you should think twice about having more kids.
Can You Afford It?
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Sorting out your finances for retirement is one thing, but you also need to consider the financial implications of having another child. By this point, you should already have a good idea of the cost of raising a child so you have to ask yourself whether you’ve got that money to spare and, more importantly, what sacrifices are you going to have to make. If you’re both working, one of you is probably going to have to leave your job, effectively cutting your income in half. So, you’ve got to cover all of your normal expenses plus the added cost of a new baby. That inevitably means making a lot of sacrifices to your lifestyle. This is a big problem for a lot of people because most of us tend to start spending more money on ourselves once the kids have left home and we don’t need to support them, but if you have another baby, all of those leisure activities and hobbies will probably go out of the window. Are you prepared to make that sacrifice?
Why Are You Considering This?
This is perhaps the most important question you have to ask yourself before you make any big decisions about your future. What are your reasons for considering becoming a parent again in the first place? There are all sorts of reasons that are fine, but some which aren’t. For example, if your marriage is struggling and you think that a new child might help fix things, you aren’t doing this for the right reason. The chances are, it will add a lot more stress to the marriage and things are likely to break down anyway. You’re better off fixing the underlying issues in the marriage and then considering another child afterwards. Another reason people might decide to have another child is that they simply don’t know what to do when they aren’t being parents. That’s not a reason to have another child in itself, you just need to adjust. Now is the time to start putting yourself first again and doing some of the things that you couldn’t do when you were raising a family. Give it some time and enjoy yourself for a while, if you still feel like you want another child, you can revisit the idea.
The most important thing to remember is that you shouldn’t rush into anything. Having more children in later life is such a massive decision and you need to be absolutely sure that it’s the right thing to do. Make sure that you’ve thought about why you want more children. Then you need to think about your finances and decide whether it’s the most sensible thing for you at this stage in your life. If you’re absolutely sure after considering all of that, having another child is the right thing to do.
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