3 Essential Man Skills to Work on Developing
Image via Pixabay
Every man basically has a certain understanding of what some of the essential skills and traits of masculinity are. As boys, we often look to our dads, granddads, uncles, and other male relatives for inspiration of the direction we should head in. And then there’s TV, film, and literature, of course.
Certain themes emerge. Mature, functional guys who are living a good and meaningful life have particular traits that we respect and want to emulate.
Sure, from time to time it can happen that people latch onto some of the less helpful archetypes of masculinity and get carried away with overcompensation, thinking that to be manly they need to be hyper-violent and emotionally dead inside. That’s not great.
Strike the right balance, though, and learning those “essential man skills” can really help you to step into yourself and become the kind of guy you can like and respect.
Here are a few essential man skills that are worth developing.
The ability to regiment your life and stick to a structure, like you were a soldier in your own army
As with all things, this can be taken too far. Some guys are already hyper-structured and ordered by nature, and so emphasising order even further can make them imbalanced, if not robotic.
For any guy who isn’t automatically super-disciplined and structured in their life, though, it’s essential to develop the ability to regiment your life and stick to a structure, like you were a soldier in your own army.
No meaningful achievements can be made if you can’t follow a structure, and no one will be able to lean on, and depend on, you if you can’t manage your own time and behaviour effectively. And being the rock that your loved ones can depend on has always been one of the traditional core values of mature masculinity.
The ability to prepare for mishaps in advance, and take steps to address them effectively
This kind of ties into the last point, insofar as being the rock your loved ones can depend on.
The ability to prepare for mishaps in advance, and to take steps to address them effectively, is central to the idea of being a provider, a guardian, and embodying the heroic aspects of manhood.
This is the kind of thing you should practice in all areas of your life. I recommend using a spill kit at work if you’re in an environment where chemical spills are possible. Even if they never really happen, be prepared.
Or if you’re going out for a day trip with the family, and the car breaks down. Do you know how to sort out basic issues and do you have emergency supplies in the vehicle?
The ability to get in touch with your emotional impulses and needs, and start up a dialogue with your emotional side
This is kind of the combo breaker in this article. But when all is said and done, it is pretty important for men to develop the ability to get in touch with their emotional impulses and needs, and to start up a dialogue with their emotional sides, too.
This doesn’t mean you have to cry aggressively at movies, or confess your insecurities to everyone you meet. What it does mean is that you need to listen to the emotional part of yourself and take it into consideration.
If, instead, you push down your emotional impulses and deny their very existence, you’re likely to become depressed, or to lash out at your family. There are good things to be said for a guy being able to maintain a stiff upper lip. But don’t try to become an emotionless machine at the same time.